Throbbing Lust

A team of cricket illiterates from Champaner suddenly learnt the game and defeated adroit rivals.

There’s nothing to be shy about, it’s only between you and me

There you go with your rubbish early in the morning, no, it’s better not to, besides I can’t sin

Not a bad idea if husband and wife jointly run an enterprise, do you understand … no one ever has too much money ... good food, fine jewelry, every girl wishes for that, doesn’t she … look Maya, whatever I’m saying is the truth, if you go around the neighbourhood you’ll understand, there’ll definitely be a case or two

I don’t know, dear, I don’t go around the neighbourhood, so how would I know

A lot of people do all this, I know it, those who are the quiet types are the ones who’re most cunning … alright, don’t men look at you, tell me my dearest

Of course they look, and they look in such a way

Do you know, a gentleman lives in our neighbourhood, I’ve heard he’s a military man, he isn’t married either, he’s tall and stocky in appearance, you’d be frightened to look at him, I’m acquainted with a relative of his, he’s sent messages through him several times

Okay … when I went past his house last month, he had called me, oh baba, I was so scared … the gentleman lives all alone in a rented flat

Eesh, does anyone squander such a wonderful opportunity, be a bit clever, Maya, people starve to death unless they’re clever, tell me, why did you run away, you could have heard him out, what he says, what he wants to say

Peeping through the hole, I saw the police were exchanging fire

As if I don’t know, he’ll ask me to sleep with him, what else could a man have to say

You made a terrible  mistake, Maya, you could have spent half an hour or an hour with him, he wouldn’t do it just like that, definitely for money, any other girl would have simply

Alright, please tell me the truth, are you trying to test me

Not at all, there’s nothing to test, I’m telling you the plain truth, if ten out of ten girls in society are bad, how long will you stay good, perhaps inwardly you want me to stop you, but that’s what leads to turmoil, if you have your husband in hand, then there’s nothing whatsoever to worry about

I got that, lets say I bring someone, where will you be

Why, don’t we have two rooms, I’ll be in one and the two of you’ll be in the other one, just get rid of your inhibitions and then everyone will be happy

What do you mean everyone will be happy

The great crematorium in Nimtala will be beautified to resemble the Gandhi-ghat in Delhi

No Maya, that’s not correct, however wealthy women might be, if they don’t get proper satisfaction down below

Whatever you might say, since you want to hear I’ll talk, all these years of being married to you was quite alright, but now I don’t feel there’s anything inside my darling

So tell me that I’m lying

Look, if you’re willing

But I’ve already told you

If you don’t create domestic turmoil about this, then there’s no need to get the military man, there are so many rich guys here, the half-old man in the provisions store devours me with his eyes, if I just give him a hint … besides that contractor chap has a lot of cash

The senior students had stripped him naked and poured hot liquid wax in his anus

How much will he pay

That’s what’s more problematic … nowadays you can get girls on the streets, men don’t want to spend much, but if you’ve got what it takes and can appraise the situation and strike accordingly, then, if not five hundred, he’ll definitely give two hundred

Let’s see how it goes, but I know there’ll be no shortage of men for me

If you can squeeze out money

Just you watch, when you’ve put me into the business I’ll conduct myself accordingly … get up now and start cooking, let me go to the market

Alright, go … I have evening duty … tell me, how will I know

Why, when you see the door bolted from within, then you’ll know someone’s in there, the food will be kept in the other room, eat quietly and spread out the floor mat

Alright

I warn you, don’t try to peep or anything, the man who spends money and comes for satisfaction must not be annoyed

Binodini ascends from the waters of the Ganga and comes directly towards Bihari

Hello Boudi, it’s been a long time, do tell me what you need

I need a lot of things, but where’ll I get the money

What do you want to say, Boudi, please tell me frankly … if it’s money you need

We’re needy folk, if we don’t need it then tell me who does

How much do you need, tell me

I’ll do that, but how will I repay you

Pay me when you can

Why don’t you come to our house at night, nowadays my husband has night duty, we can chat for a while, I’m all alone and don’t have anyone to talk to

You say

I’ll tell you then how much I need

I too wanted

Do come, I’ll make you forget all your sorrows

Really, Boudi

On the charge of stealing a bulb, a deaf-mute girl was stripped naked and was branded on her genitals with a hot skewer

Do come from time to time, no one will mind

But your husband

He won’t say anything

The neighbours … the neighbourhood

Makes no difference whether they’re there or not, it’s just a half-domestic neighbourhood, in fact people come in the afternoon to the house next door

Amazing, I didn’t know about that

So much happens inside the basti homes, do outsiders know about all that

Alright then, but I hope I won’t end up getting thrashed

Oh no, my husband and I will take care of that, but I need five hundred

Immediately after word of the murder got around, the incensed mob began to damage and vandalize the nearby locality

You’re asking for too much, Boudi, if it’s about two hundred that’ll be okay

Not two hundred, make it three hundred, once a week, four times a month, at the same rate

You’re very clever

Did I ask for too much

It’s alright, but I can’t pay you now, come at night and take it, when I’m closing the office

Alright, when will you come … who knows when the old man from the provisions store will come

The language of love was the language of his protest

Uncle, when will you come

After I close the shop

Alright

Will there be something then … I can’t spend the whole night, at most till eleven at night

Okay, I’ll cook and keep food ready

Oh no, there’s no need to cook, if I eat outside there’ll be a commotion at home, I can’t stay away at night, can’t eat outside

When you come, how’ll you recognize my house

I know it well, I’ve been observing it for a long time

I hope you can remember it

The leader of the People’s War Group has been arrested in the jungles of Goaltor

Dada, could you please give me a couple of things quickly

What’s the hurry, you’ve come after a long time, hey, you rascal, get a nice cup of tea, tell him to make it a special one, tell me, what do you need

Oh, I need lots of things but I can’t get the things I need, like oil and soap

Is that all, chee-chee, when I’m there

No, no

I’ll give you the whole month’s provisions, later, when you have the money

Oh, how can that be, where’ll I get such a lot of money all at once, I know you’ll give the stuff, but unless I pay in time, does anyone give anything, tell me

I like you, that’s why

Exhibiting the male body is the latest fad now

I like you too, Uncle

But the matter of liking is of a different kind, I’m sure you understand, I won’t let you lack for anything

I got it

When I’m with you, all deprivation will fly away

All this is sinful, besides I’m scared, I’ve not thought about the husband aspect, and there are neighbours and the neighbourhood

Don’t talk about neighbours, as if neighbours matter in such neighbourhoods, if you’re without food would anyone come to feed you ... listen, do something, go home, I’ll send all the stuff in a rickshaw, my shop’s closed tomorrow

Alright, but do think about my side

Patriarchy does not depend merely on the individual bearing the father’s name, it creeps into every possible level of the man-women relationship, at home and outside

What’s up, how far have you got with the cooking ... what’s in the pan ... oh, only some vegetables ... listen, please cut this fish

I can’t cut such a big fish, why didn’t you have it cut

We’ve got to eat haven’t we

Why did you get such a big fish, won’t we need oil

You don’t have to worry about all that, how much oil do you require, make some tea first, a rickshaw-full of stuff is on its way ... when you’ve given your consent, just you see how and what I do … look at these two crisp hundred rupee notes, there’s a rickshaw-full of goods, that’s from the provision store

How will you pay back so much money

Don’t I have the capital … why aren’t you cutting the fish … the contractor won’t stay the whole night today, only till ten at night, and tomorrow’s the old man from the provisions store, each one comes once a week, you can keep watch if necessary … we don’t need anything more … can you go outside and look, I think I can hear the rickshaw horn

A woman phones the fire brigade in the middle of the night: there’s a fire in my heart, please come and douse it

Yes, my dear Maya, a rickshaw-full of goods

Go, go and get the stuff … bring it carefully

As if I ever create any trouble

No one looked at them, everyone comes happy and content

Baba, where’ll I keep so much rice and daal

Put everything under the cot, I’ll arrange everything tomorrow morning … did you pay the rickshaw now

He didn’t accept it

Why’s that

Look Maya, the receipt’s for four hundred and twenty rupees ... really Maya, in just a single day you’ve managed to organize this

You just keep quiet henceforth … arrange everything properly … quite a good amount in cash and then there’s the relation

But that would mean a lot of hardship

You idiot, the hardship won't be every day, just for a day, and then everything’s familiar … here, take your fish

After paying a huge sum as ransom the kidnapped businessman returned

Those who know the body know how to pay the price

Instead of talking, if you can, try to arrange the things on the shelf ... let me fry the pieces of fish, and then I’ll make the gravy, just enough for the two of us

Here, do you think it’s done

It’s okay, but there’s more stuff in the bag

There’s a lot of stuff here, every kind of spice, he’s sent all the household requirements

Go and have your bath, won’t you go to work

Let it be, I think I won’t go today

What on earth do you think, you’ll eat and go to work like everyone else, you can’t eat off the money earned by your wife, I’m telling you, you have to go to work everyday, bear in mind, I can get along even if you’re not there … taste it and tell me

What can I do, have I learnt cooking

Learn to cook too, those who’ll spend the whole night with me will extract full value for their money

Howrah’s starving workers now want to take revenge through the ballot

They pay for the quality they see

How’s the fish, do you like the gravy

The taste of fresh fish is something else altogether, I’m eating a big fish after a very long time

Baba, my stomach’s really full, when you return from work today remember to buy condoms, the last packet is still there … who knows what diseases people have, got to be careful

Alright, baba, one burden’s gone, now for a cycle … so I’m off, but do be careful

Yes my dear, you go now

Then Rohini Hattangadi looks for and picks up a stone, and meditating on Shiva, begins to perform puja

Hello Boudi, I’m sure you’re waiting for me

Yes, do come in, sit in this room, let me shut the door, it’s a small room, no cot or anything, you won’t be very comfortable, Uncle

I will be, for sure I will be, keep this relationship in good shape, and why only a cot, you’ll get so many things ... do you know Maya, if a boy’s cunning it’s very dangerous ... I can’t sleep with your boudi anymore, but of course your boudi has no more sex … where are you, come to me

I want to sit on your lap

Come, let’s do that, if you sit you’ll understand

I don’t allow that, if they’re squeezed too hard they’ll begin to sag … yes, like that, use your hand

Maya, can you ever forget me

I’ll try, Uncle, we can chat later, but finish the business first

I don’t have the patience to sit any more, fold your legs

On Children’s Day, we vow that we will not let children be deprived of the full development of all their inner capabilities – Department of Women & Child Development, Government of India

No, don’t do that … where’s it, put it in … why do you delay, how much longer, Uncle

I don’t know

Why’re you acting like a teenager

Don’t I get aroused

Take it, will it run away this time too, you shouldn’t do that

Believe me, Maya

What

No great damage is done by that, why are you getting up, lie down beside me for some more time

In order to blow up the Rajdhani Express in an explosion, a time-bomb has been placed on the rail line

Where do I put it

You don’t have to get up, who’s stopping you

Would you like to eat fried fish

Is there any

Baba, why wouldn’t there be any, the taste of fresh fish is something else altogether, do you get that, let me make tea, fried fish and tea

You’re stupid, fried fish goes well with booze … I drink now and then

But the taste of fresh fish is something else altogether

No, not today, next week, around nine, the shop’s closed on that day, you see I have to keep up the home front as well as the external front

Whatever you wish

In Burdwan, a sick child was given another child’s injection

Yes, my dear, this is the first time I’ve earned, but if you don’t like to see that

I’m all aflutter inside, you know, I’m really happy, you know what you want

So what if there's some hardship, there’s happiness besides the hardship

That’s what’ll be, Maya, I hope your wishes are fulfilled

How long before the next visit

It won’t do to be so crazy ... hey, it’s ten-thirty, tell me what I should bring for you, make a list and give it in the market

You’ve already given all the stuff from the provisions store

I have to get up now … stuff to do at home … this door’s open

Oh baba, he hasn’t even come in ... don’t be standing at the door, who knows who’ll

I’ll see you around

Yes

You’ll live long, dear, I thought you’d have come home and gone to sleep

What are you … didn’t anyone come …you had said he’d stay all night, I’m sure you lied to me

No, my dear, not a lie, you see he has a grown-up son at home, it’s not possible for him to stay all night, he left just fifteen minutes ago ... here, take off your shirt and trousers, I’m terribly hungry, have a wash while I put the rice to boil

Globalization and patriarchy – it’s because of this link that in the forthcoming World Social Forum of 2004, one of the ten key subjects for discussion is patriarchy

How many times

At first twice in succession, and then once more before leaving

Is that’s all

Just the three times made me forget my dad’s name … what’re you doing … has the strength of an ogre, hey, please massage my body, just see how it’s swollen from squeezing

Baba, it’s really swollen … will I get something

You’ll get it, my dear, but massage my body first

You just carry on, Maya, just carry on, there’s nothing to fear, if required I’ll opt for the night shift, I’ll do all the household chores as soon as I wake up in the morning

That you have to do, my dear, I’m earning now, look here, it’s in my interest to give peace to those who come, isn’t it, they’ll give baksheesh

That must be extracted

If you’re at home, I’ll be panicky … terror in the mind

Alright, as soon as I can I’ll take the night shift

A complaint was made against a promoter for deploying hijras to evict a tenant

What happened, why did you get up

I have no clue about what you did when

You’re lying

You’re terribly naughty, hey, I’m sleepy now, let me go to sleep, when you wake up in the morning, wash the cooking utensils, sweep the rooms, make tea and then wake me up

Alright, let me sleep now

The ballot papers were torn in the booth itself and the box was dumped in the water

Hey, Maya, wake up, it’s nine, don’t you want tea

What time is it

It’s nine

Nine … have you done all the work, have you filled water ... where’s the tea, give it to me, I’ll lie down in bed and have tea, I can’t get up before I have tea … do you know, I slept so well, my whole body feels light … light the stove, I’ll have a bath and then cook today, god, what an ache, dear

Is it bad … listen, it’ll relieve you if I give you a hot compress

The seven-year-old girl, Rinku, searches among the ashes of the burnt hut for her Kisalay book

It’ll be great if I can get it

You’ll get it, but go to the toilet now, you’ve been farting away all this while, take your bath and come out

I’ve lit the stove, let me sweep the other room

We should get some good mosquito nets, pillows and quilts now

There’s money in hand, so we can buy it

Do you think I’ll buy it with my money, are you out of your mind, it’s those who come who soil our bed-linen, and it’s they who’ll buy it

Hey, can you hear me, where are you, please give me the towel, what a lovely fragrance in the soap, what soap is this dear, what’s it called … this is the norm, Maya, as long as you’re young, just grab it

Come out, let me take a bath ... I have to sleep a while after eating

Nowadays, in private parties, women openly hire male dancers and make them strip naked

Boudi, are you at home

Who is it

It’s me

Oh, it’s you, it’s so dark outside, what time is it, just wait, the light’s not turned on, how on earth did I sleep so long, it’s seven, if you hadn’t called me … come in, come, believe me, it’s terrible, I’ve never slept so long

Is that so, what did you dream about

A lot of stuff, please sit down, let me just go to the wash-room, god, I badly need to pee

A boy died leaping from the roof, imitating Spiderman

Would you like to have some tea

Yes please make it ... hey, silly girl, I have a family too, I know what all is needed in a family, just maintain the relationship with me and you’ll never know deprivation ... listen, your nightie’s in the cloth bag

Here’s the tea, but there aren’t any biscuits

Take it out and see

Alright, I’ll wear it and come

Why, wear it in front of me

Okay ... it’s nice ... do you like it

Hearing about the death due to a wrong injection, the Superintendent said, but he would have died one day

Not in this room, come to the other room … I did up the room today

Whatever you wish, take me wherever you want ... oh, such a lovely room, absolutely secluded ... is your husband alright

Yes of course, why shouldn’t he be alright ... I say, weren’t you supposed to come at nine o’ clock

I just came by

Whatever you think’s right ... so where shall I sit, on your lap

That’s right ... you’re even younger than my daughter

Look here, love doesn’t heed age

Buchanan and company won’t allow Sourav to recover from his injury

Maya, that’s what I think when I look at your face

Oh baba, what have I sat on dear

How on earth did you land on your husband’s fate

I don’t know … maybe it’s so … where’s your thing

Let’s see where you’ve hidden it

The colour can’t be discerned in the light from the bulb

A manly woman has been arrested for disguising as a man and marrying an eighteen-year-old girl

So you’ve snared me

What do you mean

There’s nothing to fear, there may be a little bit of hardship ... hey take a look, I hope there’s no piss anywhere, I don’t like it

I’ve put on some scent for that reason ... don’t worry
I won't hurt you

Not like that

In today’s world, dreaming of surviving as a gay is a purely personal matter of yours

So that’s what makes the guys happy, they get pleasure when you inflict pain

There’s no other worry, you stay this way and you won’t ever have to worry about difficulty

Go to sleep now … what happened, do you want to

Can you take a risk regarding whatever’s connected with your home

I’ll give you more

There’s no point giving you unnecessary trouble ... lift up your head and look, look at me, keep looking

Take my love … don’t get lost

What are you saying, Maya, my head will go in

Try to put your head in and see … I’m not lying

What do you mean

It means nothing

It was as if a baby was being delivered

THE END

[2003]

This is a translation of the original Bengali story “Madankotkoti” by Subimal Misra.

Translated by V. Ramaswamy.